Promise of Forever
by TenRose4ever
Summary: Having lived a life in the alternate dimension, Rose seeks the Doctor in his universe. Warning: Character death and mention of suicide


**Author's Note: Warning! This story is full of angst! (It was tough editing when I was in tears half the time.) I was inspired while listening to "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling, a song that I find suits the Rose/Doctor situation quite beautifully, and nearly always makes me cry.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy, **

**Louise**

**PS: Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters! No kidding!**

**Promise of Forever**

Rose Tyler-Smith had very few regrets. She had lived a fantastic life. It had not been easy at first. There had been anger, disappointment, impossible expectations. But beyond the awkwardness and frustration there had been unyielding love, a hand to hold, and the promise of forever. And with that, she had started to live a life, day after day.

Rose had defended the Earth with John Smith (although, he was always "Doctor" to her,) running together, hand in hand, as Torchwood's alien ambassadors and technical advisors. Through the years their love had given them three beautiful children whom they raised to be strong, compassionate people. And their eyes had shone with awe at the gift of their grandchildren when they entered their lives years later. She had retired with John when he was ready to retire, looked after him devotedly through his old age, and cradled him in a loving embrace as he passed from the world.

"I love you," she had murmured, tears quietly trickling down her cheeks.

"Quite right too," he had gazed at her with eyes filled with adoration. "And I suppose, if it's one last chance to say it: Rose Tyler …" and then his eyes had fluttered closed and his single human heart had stopped beating.

She had smiled gently in wonder at his final words, "Don't worry, my Doctor. I know. I've always known."

Years later, she looked in the mirror. She had aged, but so very slowly, a "gift" from the heart of the T.A.R.D.I.S. She had only realized for certain that Bad Wolf was to blame, when she had been severely injured one day, struck by an alien weapon during a diplomatic mission for Torchwood. John had very nearly allowed the Oncoming Storm to overtake him that day, but he had been stopped short by the glow of golden tendrils whispering around her wounded abdomen. It wasn't regeneration, as such, but it was healing, and it was extending her life.

Now, she was lonely, empty, all her loved ones passed on before her. She had become a recluse, a lone wolf. It was safer that way, no one to ask questions, run tests, even imprison her. Although she was healthy, her drawn-out life felt wrong somehow. Her situation reminded her of a quotation by Bilbo Baggins from "Lord of the Rings": "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."

She had often considered ending it all. It would have been easy enough. She was quite certain that Bad Wolf would be unable to restore her body from injuries that were too severe. But then she would recall her promise of forever, and be unable to find the will to take her own life.

And so she found herself back on Bad Wolf Bay, still the weakest point between her two universes: the one where she had lived most of her fantastic life; and the one she truly called home - where _he_ was, her Time Lord Doctor. She clutched her cobbled-together, portable dimension cannon securely under her arm, uncertain that she had got it quite right. Before she could allow self-doubt to surface, before she could worry about the consequences of her actions, she activated it, nudging open a crack between the two realities.

She endured excruciating pain as she found herself being alternately compressed and stretched as she was pulled through the void. Something was undeniably wrong: there had been some discomfort when she had made a similar journey, years ago, but nothing like this searing agony. It would be worth all the pain if she could make it back to him. He had probably moved on, possibly regenerated several times. Perhaps he didn't even remember her vow to stay with him forever or even recall how close they had once been. But _she_ remembered, and she wanted to be there for him, finding a way to watch over him, one way or another. She had lived a full life and she would face what was to come unapologetically.

Despite a sense of right, a sense of belonging as she felt herself ripped into her home universe, the pain didn't end. The unbearable torment only increased, and she screamed noiselessly into the vacuum of space. And then, unexpectedly, her mind was filled with the radiant presence of the T.A.R.D.I.S., and she heard the familiar grinding of the time ship's engines surround her. "My yellow human …" the T.A.R.D.I.S. sighed in her mind "… what have you done?"

Rose found herself squinting against the eerie glow of the reactor core and heard the pounding of footsteps approach her. Suddenly, an unfamiliar male face leaned over her. "My Doctor …" she managed to force out the words despite the throbbing torture that enveloped her body. She knew it was him. Even though his face had changed, she recognized who he was. She also sensed his overwhelming alarm as he surveyed her, and she realized, in that instant, that her body was broken beyond repair: not even Bad Wolf would be able to help her.

"Rose Tyler …"he murmured. He turned away from her, shouting in panic, "Help me get her to the med bay, now!"

The T.A.R.D.I.S.' presence filled her again, and the time machine swathed her in her wisps of golden energy, causing the Doctor to leap back with a yelp.

"Very manly, Doctor," Rose quipped weakly. She felt the T.A.R.D.I.S.' heat ease in response to her mental plea, and the radiance surrounding her subsided. She lifted her bloodied hand toward her Doctor, caressing his cheek lovingly as he leaned in toward her, "You can't help me, my Doctor. You can't save me this time. I know I promised you forever, but this is the best I can do …"

"You always come back to me, my precious girl," he stammered, as his cool tears flowed over her fingers. He covered her hand with his own.

"I love you," her voice faltered through the blood in her throat, and as her hand dropped away from his face, the heart of the T.A.R.D.I.S. surrounded her again.

She felt her mind slipping from her ruined body to join the ethereal consciousness of the T.A.R.D.I.S. She was welcomed with an astonishing combination of limitless tranquillity and a dumbfounding level of manic energy. "My cub," the T.A.R.D.I.S. hummed, "you are joined with me now, distinct, but also a part of me."

"A part of you?" the spiritual energy that was Rose pondered. "I'll be able to watch over him, now? Forever?" The T.A.R.D.I.S. responded with a gentle swirl of her energy around Rose's spirit, wrapping her in a dynamic surge of affirmation. Rose felt the joy of their merging fill her soul as her love of the Doctor soared through the heart of the T.A.R.D.I.S.

The Doctor had many cherished companions over the years that followed, even a few who filled his hearts with passionate love. And while they slept, he would tinker in the console room with the various random gadgets that comprised the mechanics of his beloved T.A.R.D.I.S. It was at these times, when he was alone, that she would appear, the T.A.R.D.I.S.' holographic interface, as Rose Tyler. And it was her soul alone that interacted with that particular matrix.

"I'm just an image. No touch," she had warned him gently the first time with a sad smile.

His hearts had just filled with wonder, "You _always_ come back to me, Rose Tyler."

And so they sat together through long nights, laughing and talking and sharing their undying love and their promise of forever.


End file.
